I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
