absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize