there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
