My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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