i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
