I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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