Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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