ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
