census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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