Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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