just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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