Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
