i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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