Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
