it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
