So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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