Will you blow on my dice?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
