I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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