Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
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He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
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we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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