We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
