you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
