You're so nebulous sometimes
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
