Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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