Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
