Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
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We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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