5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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