soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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