how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
