Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
BRING THE BAGELS
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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