I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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