How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
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The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
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Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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