And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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