Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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