Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
cat food counts as protein by the way
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
