Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Randomize
