butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
