Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
