im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
