i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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