How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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