and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
