you guys were way drunker than both of me
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
