girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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