Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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