so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just threw up on my dentist
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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