I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
