he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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