i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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