I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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