Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
