I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We got so high we made milksteak
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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