Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
