Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
