I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Shame is for Republicans.
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