if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize