he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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